Understanding men

Thought I would try to help things by explaining some things about men. To some this may be old news, but if it can help just one person my job is done.

Men are simple creatures. If the answer "What are you thinking?" is "Nothing.", we are not being elusive. That is honestly what we are thinking at the moment.

Most men are not subtle. We don't get hints, even great big flashing ones with sirens on them.

The single male will eat things that are border line toxic, just to save from cooking (ie..Raman noodles, with diced spam eaten out of a pot [to save on washing dishes]. Such meals are commonly referred to as "bachelor chow".

Most men only have enough blood to operate one head at a time. Possible design flaw?

Most men like porn. Maybe because it stops blood flow to the main head.

Men like the 3 stooges, Mel Brooks movies, and Looney Tunes cartoons. Slapstick comedy causes a warm fuzzy feeling. Personally if I ever get tired of seeing someone get hit with heavy objects that make funny sounds, shoot me.

When faced with any type of high end sports car, monster truck, or construction equipment, a primal switch is thrown. That switch causes most men to be reduced to the mentality of a 5 year old. "Ooooowwww shiny!!"

Like magpies and raccoons, men are attracted to shiny objects. See above reference to "shiny".

If a man feels a connection with a woman, most are reduced to babbling idiots. Some are smooth enough to hide this condition, but it is there (ie.. Sean Connery as James Bond)

Hope that these rules help.

One final bit of information. The subspecies known as "Red neck" or "Southerner" is most often heard to exclaim "Hold my beer and watch this." Shortly before dying.