Catching a breath...

Been quite brutal lately, been in limbo waiting to see if I stay or leave Korea. Added to this I have had money woes, lease problems, and most importantly a friend in the hospital. It has been a very long month, but things seem finally be on the mend. Friday I fly to spend a couple weeks with the family, and I get to meet my newest niece. Looking forward to a bit of a break, will be nice to have a chance to catch my breath.

Fair

Fair.... Seems like a simple enough word, not sure that it has meaning in real life. Last night had a friend tell me about her weekend. Seems a good friend to the both of us is in a bad way, and will be going under the knife.

Fair... Is it fair that these things happen? Is it fair that there is pain in they eyes of people I care about? Is it fair that I can do nothing but pray?


I was once told that life is full of sorrows and that every moment of joy is a treasure. Is it fair that this truth no longer comforts me?

Tunnel vision

Two guards, chatting, blissfully unaware that they are being observed. I sight in, the cross hairs finding the first guard. I wait for the shot, my finger resting lightly on the composite trigger. The cross hairs give a small jump with every heartbeat, I change my breathing to steady it out. There it is, a loud report splits the night, as the first guard falls. I quickly sight in the second one before he can recover from the surprise of the first shot, A second shot rings out. As the second guard falls, I see a bright flash and every thing goes black.


YOU HAVE DIED!!!!

Continue? yes/no



Doh, glad I saved. These video games are getting too realistic.

Posers

You've seen them before, people who pretend to be something they aren't so they can fit in. The hard core rapper wanna be who would wet himself if he ever was in the ghetto. The activist that jumps from issue to issue depending on the cause of the week. These people have always rubbed me the wrong way, something about the inherent lack of confidence. I don't see what is so hard about being yourself.

Ghosting

I feel like I'm in between worlds at the moment. Caught between Korea and the United States. In just under ten days I leave Korea, possibly for good, to head back to the States. I really don't want to go back yet, but have no choice in the matter. Right now I am in two worlds, and belong to neither.

Beat down and more than a little irate...

Know I have been lax in posting recently. With all the confusion and chaos going on with my staying/leaving Korea, been burning the candle at both ends. So far I have learned that yes I may stay or go. I'm getting no support from my parent company, who refuses to release moving funds until they absolutely have to. It also seems that the people who decide about my contract could not pull their collective heads out of their asses with a tow truck. Hopefully things will be sorted soon and can get back to having a life.

33 years....

33 years, I now have a year for ever country I have visited. Guess I need to visit a couple more before next year.

Stressed

Pretty stressed out at the moment. Waiting to see if my contract in Korea is getting extended. The Koreans say they want to keep me, but are haggling over price. The first deadline was the August 1st, after negotiations the new deadline is the 15th. If no extension goes through, I fly out September 1st. This means my entire life is on hold waiting for a decision. Now I have to start setting up a move, schedule a flight home, find a new job, and a place to live all of which will have to be able to be canceled at a moment's notice.

I need some rum

Sudden storm

It starts off with a few fat drops of rain falling from swollen dark clouds. Nothing to worry about keep going. Then the bottom falls out. Sheets of rain and hail come, the wind howls. A bright flash, and the peal of thunder reminds me that we are in the middle of a river on a rubber raft holding metal oars. A broad grin splits my face as I look at my companions, more than one wants to head for shore and wait the storm out. Our guide pushes us forward, wearing a grin matching mine.

Life is short, live it while you can.

I want to be evil...

After watching the new Harry Potter movie, I want to be evil. Not due to any wish for world domination or the need to foil some meddling kids, no evil just has the best wardrobe. Seems that with the whole call of darkness comes fashion sense.

Tomorrow...

I look down at my watch and wince, time to make a discreet exit. Drifting towards the door, my farewells are met with hugs, handshakes, and the offer of more libations. As usual discreet has gone out the window.

"It's not that late you could stay a bit longer."

I look down into deep dark eyes, it's a fight not to drown in them. The rest of the bar fades into nothingness, the clean crispness of her scent cuts through the smell of smoke and alcohol. In the back of my mind something primal feels the warmth of her nearness and hungers.

"Afraid I have to, us old timers need our beauty sleep. Not all of us are as blessed as you."

I grin mischievously, still trapped by her eyes. A coy smile graces me.

"Call me tomorrow?"

"My word on it."

Her eyes close, releasing me. I feel the heat of her breath on my cheek. Our lips meet as the world drops away.

Who knows what tomorrow holds? I can't wait to find out.

Too many goodbyes...

Been saying too many goodbyes lately. It is the nature of this business that people come and go, that dose not make it easy. I've never been the most sociable of persons, so when I have to say goodbye to a friend it leaves a icy void where someone should be. This morning I said it again.

Things started off with the intervening hand of Murphy's law.

"Morning... What time is your train?"
" 6:59..."

Things kick into high gear as realization kicks in.

"Darlin, it's 6:30. Get up and get dressed, we gotta go!!!"
"None of my alarms went off, how does this happen?"
Fumbling on a pair of socks "Don't worry bout that now, we gotta move."

6:34
A small black car, revs and speeds out of an apartment complex.

6:40
The small black car weaves through city traffic at break neck speeds.

6:45
The driver of the small black car curses vehemently at a traffic light, in multiple languages.

6:50
The small black car screeches to a halt in front of the Taegu Train station. A large dark haired man grabs a suitcase and sprints for the lobby, followed closely by a petite blond woman.

6:57
The man hands the suitcase up to the woman as the train door closes.

I watch the train door close and feel the coldness of a new void. I'm sure we'll meet again, the world is a small place.

Fair winds and following seas, Dove. I'll miss you.

White knight redux...

I don't think I'll ever understand the motives of many people. To see someone in trouble or pain and not help them, bit of an alien concept to me. Even if I truly hate a person, I'll help them if they are in need.
Here recently a person I know has been in a bad place. Not only did their "friends" not lend a hand, but some tried to take advantage of the situation. I just don't get it.

Truths from the weekend.....

Been a strange and eventful weekend, learned some truths (some good some bad) and had way too much fun.
Started Friday night in the Shisha (hooka) bar. Love this place, mellow and relaxing. Nothing like kicking back, drinking wine, and smoking the hooka. During the chitchat I learned some truths about some folks, and feel the fool for trusting them. On the plus side learned one friend is completely trustworthy.


Then off to the mud festival, a total blast. Imagine, if you will, THOUSANDS of westerners and Koreans getting together for drinking and playing in the mud. Some of the truths from revealed here were:

I am cursed to have a farmers tan. 2 days of sun, and my legs and trunk are still way too white. On the plus side I apparently don't burn either.

If you are a 98 pound man there are things you don't do. One of them is to lay claim to a patch of public beach during a festival to set up umbrellas that people can pay to sit under. If you do this and then try to kick a lot (600+) of drunken partying folks off of it, you do not start with the large group of drunken G.I.s.

During such a festival as this, if the stores near the beach sell fireworks they will be used on the beach. Drunk westerners will shoot roman candles at any thing/body. Trying to stop these things from happening is unwise at best.

No beach should be without rum or tequila. Soju and Makali (Korean booze) just doesn't do the job.

At no time should you bring any small dogs to an occasion as this, especially if you have dyed their ears and tail different colors (don't ask, it is a fashion statement here).

All in all a good time was had

EDIT: posted some of the pictures from the fest on my photo-blog

There are no uppercuts in Salsa....

"Forward on the left foot, back on the right. Feel the rhythm."

This mantra repeats in my head, as I try to ape the smooth movements of my teacher. The tempo of the music is contagious.
"OK, man you're doing good. Now remember that your dance partner will be moving with you, so keep the timing. If you loose it, someone is gonna get stepped on."
Part of me is glad that I decided to get some basics before heading to the salsa club, the other side wants to jump right into the mix and learn by doing.

"Forward on the left foot, back on the right. Feel the rhythm."

Concentrating on my feet, my arms are left to their own accord.
"Dude, um... I don't think you're gonna be blocking punches."
Looking down I see my arms have gone into a defensive position, the foot work is similar enough to a martial arts form that muscle memory has taken over. ~sigh~ Now all of me is glad that I got some basics first.


"Forward on the left foot, back on the right. Feel the rhythm. No uppercuts."

The things I do to impress women.

Randomness

Bit of a random day today, my mind is pinging all over the place. The rainy day outside has me bored and restless, not a good mood to be in at work. Some randomness of the day so far:

If I can not tell you some information because it will violate a contract, asking the guy beside me will net you the same answer.

The creator of the cell phone will be both loved and despised throughout history.

Subjecting your coworkers to the smell of Corn nuts in a small office should be punishable by a severe beating. Loudly crunching them and smacking you lips while you eat said snack food, should be grounds for a violent painful death.

It costs nothing to be polite. When a engineer flies across the world to help you, and after 2 minutes of conversation you make a comment about her chest is not a good way to keep goodwill up and running. This also has the added effect of making the large technician beside her irate (yours truly), and can involve very pointed words when she is out of earshot.

Why are the stupid ones always put in to management positions?

Lunch really needs to hurry up and get here.

Rose colored glasses...

"How can you support the war? People are dying. I hate war!"
Bright blue eyes burn with the righteousness of a zealot.
"All good people hate war, but at times it is necessary. Trust me when I say that people who have stood and fought hate war more than you will ever understand."
"War is never necessary, too many people are dying."
"What about World War 2 was that necessary? More people died on D-Day, than have died in Iraq. That's just one day."
The righteousness falters for a second, then come bright even brighter.
"Even that one shouldn't have happened, war is never necessary. If I had my way people would just be nice to each other."

Sadly enough I was not talking to a child, this is from a young woman working on her masters in "Socio Economic Design and Construction". Yet another reason that fanatics are dangerous. Truth be known, I wish everyone could just be nice to each other. Alas I don't think human nature allows for that.

Surpise

He's younger than me, faster than me, his eyes burning with fire. His country,his studio, his students and countrymen cheering him on. We lock eyes and I see it, that moment of surprise as fire meets ice. He has lost.
His attack comes with only the slightest tell, but that is enough. The kick that should have taken my head off finds empty air, and I am upon him. Chain punches rain down on him as tries to understand how I got so close. In a panic he tries to back away only to find his foot won't rise as mine has it pinned. He jerks his foot back as I release it and give him a slight nudge, the rest of the studio has gone quiet as their teacher flies off his feet.
With a grin I strip the padded gloves off and offer him a hand up.

My nature...

"You don't have to take every one's problems on your shoulders."
"I don't know, his shoulders are pretty big."
A deft smirk flashes
"I work out, and it's my nature."

How many can claim that they truly know their true nature?

What happens when two sides of your nature come into conflict?

"gnothi seauton" or "Know thyself" was inscribed in the pronaos of the Temple of Apollo at Delphi. At times I don't know if I truly do, and others I think I know myself too well. I suppose this lumps me in with the rest of humanity, scary thought.

Passing in the night

The cool glass presses against my back as I wait. The cab dropped me off into the hot languid night too early, now just to wait. The throngs of people rush by me, I scan the crowd. A face stands out, our eyes meet. The distance between us closes, surprise and curiosity meet my steady gaze. Light banter is exchanged, queries are answered, and farewells are said. Our ways part and again I wait.