Been watching some horror movies lately (no, not Gigli), the local English channels have been on a 80' horror kick. It might be my upbringing, but axe wielding madmen just don't scare me. In fact the only horror movie that has ever scared me was the "Exorcist", that one still wiggs me out.
Jason, from the "Friday the 13th" movies-
Everyone's favorite machete wielding zombie. Decently scary, but no witty banter. Always the same story teens go to camp, do drugs have sex and die. Jason has staying power, and has proven resistant to bullets. Lack of brains and hand/eye coordination is Jason's weakness. The old "Scooby Doo" knocking him into a vat of quick drying cement would work well.
Freddy, from the "Nightmare on Elm street" movies-
The razor gloved, master of dreams. Not really scary, but always makes with the wise cracks. Teens go to sleep and die in their dreams. Creative, and attacks where the victim is most helpless. Personally for this one, would take a hit of LSD before going to sleep on the "It's a small world" ride.
Leatherface, from "The Texas Chainsaw massacre"-
Human skin mask wearing, lumberjack wanna be. It's a guy with a chainsaw, no special powers, just a chainsaw. The guy doesn't even have any witty banter, like a second hand Jason. The scary thing is, this was based on a true story. What gets me on this one is, you're in Texas and there are no firearms to be found. Paper may beat rock, but 12 gauge shotgun loaded with .00 buckshot beats chainsaw. Personally this would be a short movie for me BANG...Thud "Roll Credits!!"
Pinhead, from "Hellraiser"-
Demon from the pits, and Marilyn Manson's fashion consultant. Well spoken, methodical, and not above using the smart ass quips. A step up from the mindless mayhem crowd. Although it is kind of hard to take a monster serious that looks like a masochist with a piercing fetish. Prevention is the best way to deal with Pinhead, nice shiny box to hell meets 16lb. Sledge hammer.
Still, the old 80's horror flics are entertaining. Mindless violence, combined with corny dialogue and gratuitous nudity, seems to appeal to the base part of the male mind.
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