What would you?

Seems that people are always ready to die for something. Dying for something is easy, all you have to do is give up. I think the real question is....

What would you Live for?

Christmas

Well it's Christmas time again, time for peace on earth and good will towards men. I hope that the holidays finds everyone doing well.
To all my brothers and sisters serving in the Navy, Army, Air Force, Marines, and Cost Guard be safe and you are in our hearts. Thank you for your sacrifice.

'Twas the Night Before Christmas
(or A Visit from St. Nicholas)
by Clement Clarke Moore

'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
in hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there.

The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
while visions of sugar plums danced in their heads.
And Mama in her 'kerchief, and I in my cap,
had just settled our brains for a long winter's nap.

When out on the roof there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from my bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
tore open the shutter, and threw up the sash.

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow
gave the lustre of midday to objects below,
when, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
but a miniature sleigh and eight tiny reindeer.

With a little old driver, so lively and quick,
I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick.
More rapid than eagles, his coursers they came,
and he whistled and shouted and called them by name:

"Now Dasher! Now Dancer!
Now, Prancer and Vixen!
On, Comet! On, Cupid!
On, Donner and Blitzen!
To the top of the porch!
To the top of the wall!
Now dash away! Dash away!
Dash away all!"

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
when they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky
so up to the house-top the coursers they flew,
with the sleigh full of toys, and St. Nicholas too.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
the prancing and pawing of each little hoof.
As I drew in my head and was turning around,
down the chimney St. Nicholas came with a bound.

He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his foot,
and his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot.
A bundle of toys he had flung on his back,
and he looked like a peddler just opening his pack.

His eyes--how they twinkled! His dimples, how merry!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry!
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
and the beard on his chin was as white as the snow.
The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,
and the smoke it encircled his head like a wreath.
He had a broad face and a little round belly,
that shook when he laughed, like a bowl full of jelly.

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old elf,
and I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself.
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head
soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread.

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
and filled all the stockings, then turned with a jerk.
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
and giving a nod, up the chimney he rose.

He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, 'ere he drove out of sight,

"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good night!"

Out comes the evil...

It starts off as it usually does, in a smoky bar. Conversations battle with each other and "Weezer" for dominance. The soft warmness brought on by rum has put me in mellow mood as I make my way to the bar. So far the evening has been good, dinner with a friend then down town for a few libations.
"There is a sad sight, a sailor with a empty glass."
I turn as a small glass of clear liquid is pressed into my empty hand. The smell of liquorice assails my nostrils, Sambuca. Nothing good can come of this.
"Dunno love, trying to keep it easy tonight. Besides you've never seen me when I drink this stuff."
She moves close, her breath hot against my ear.
"I heard it makes you evil, I wanna see..."

Korean Politics

This actually happened in the South Korean Parliament. It's scary when American politicians look mature by comparison.

Bit of the ol' randomness

They say it's a bad thing to hit someone with a closed fist, but at times it can be hilarious. -Mal Renolds- Firefly

In the two and a half years I've been in Korea, I have found out they care more about whose fault something is more than the actual problem.

It never ceases to amaze me how a person can be smart, but a group can be hands down stupid.

I have the firm belief that stupidity should be painful if not outright deadly.

Korean elections are coming up, it's refreshing to see that politicians here are just as corrupt as they are back home.

One of the those questions I never wanted to hear from another man. "So do you know where I can buy some leather chaps?" Why can't it be the gorgeous women that ask this of me? Would be more than happy to go as a consultant.

Flame throwers, while fun, can be as dangerous to the user are they are to the target. Grenades and rocket launchers fall under this heading as well. (Don't worry I discovered this in a video game, not in real life).

I miss my Wee Scottish Lass, funny that Korea seems more drab without a Scot.

On the upside, Korea seems devoid of mimes.

If a modern day Tom Sawyer has a mean mean stride, what does a modern day Huck Fin have?

Truth can be fun

"You're last name is Bacon? Wow, are you any relation to Kevin?" Here we go again, it amazes me how often I get to play this one out. "Yep, he's my uncle." I respond, my face deadpan, then return to my drink. "No way!! Kevin Bacon is not your uncle is he?" "Yep, Kevin is my father's younger brother." A small part of me wants to believe that people are not this gullible, the rest of me grins inwardly and wonders how far it will go this time. "Oh my God!! Could you introduce me?" I shrug "Sure, if you're ever in Georgia give a call and I'll take you by their house.". A flash of confusion "He has a house in Georgia?". "Yep, down by the river." A knowing glance "Ahh, must be in a upscale place. Hey guys, this guy is Kevin Bacon's nephew!"

Funny how it never occurs to folks that there is more than one Kevin Bacon in the world.

Demons

We all have our demons, part of what makes us human. The problem is when they start controlling you. It gets worse when you know what is happening and you do it anyway. Comes a time when you have to face your demons. Not something you can run from, nor is it something that someone else can do for you.

As much as I care, I can't do anything to help. You are facing an enemy I can't fight for you. This time you have to save yourself.

Ritual

The calmness settles over me, the world has been compressed to a small clear window surrounded by black. Through this window I watch a small black dot jump with every heartbeat. I feel the warmth of the sun on my skin, the smell of fresh cut grass fills the air. I feel the presence of my father standing slightly behind me to the left.
The dot has stopped jumping. Exhaling slowly, I squeeze the cool metal under my finger. Thunder rolls, across the field a small hole appears in the dot. "Oh yeah, it's on." I hear my father say, his voice muffled by the headphones over my ears.

The above is something me and my father have done for years. Every time I go home we spend quite a lot of time target shooting. When I am off walking the world, I miss it immensely. When I am home, there is nothing I would trade it for.

One of those nights....

"I've been seeing a therapist lately. I have a lot of anger problems, mainly wanting revenge on people I feel have wronged me." -My date Thursday night (no joke)

Yet another reason I hate blind dates. Needless to say, got the hell out of Dodge quickly! I don't think there will be a second date.

In the funk...

In a bit of a mood lately. Just can't be bothered to give a damn about most things. No particular reason why, just in a funk. Think it's my mind's way of telling me that there needs to be a change, or could just be that I'm tired of this place and the wanderlust needs to be obeyed. Really don't know, I'll be back to normal in a couple days. On the bright side for once it's not over a woman (just because I know you're reading Mia :P)

Give it a rest

I know that I have ranted about the media many times before, but what can I say they keep spinning me up. It's no wonder that the world thinks the American people are stupid, watch the evening news. This is what most of the world sees and thinks we are about. Take a look at some of today's headlines from Fox News and CNN.

Let's see:
Death - Check
Fear mongering - Check
Politicians bickering like children - Check
Cheap shot at the political right - Check
Cheap shot at the president - Check
Cheap shot at Christians - Check
How great the Clintons are - Check
Meaningless tripe about Brittney Spears - Check
Meaningless tripe about Paris Hilton - Check
Random non-Brittney/non-Paris star supporting a cause - Check

All that is missing is global warming being blamed for some new problem. Seems like this is all we get any more, and this is all the rest of the world sees of us. Looking at the media's picture of the US you see a grim, violent place. A place where you can't even do yard work without ending up in a wood chipper. A place where valiant liberals fight against the corrupt and evil conservative Christians. A place where the public cares more about Brittney's bad parenting and Paris's spat with a greeting card company than they do about what is happening in the rest of the world.

It would be great to see the news channels actually report some news.

Unbowed

Muscles burn with fatigue, hearts race, lungs threaten to burst. Like kittens at play the two figures roll and tumble across the floor. The smaller of the two alternates between attack and escape, the larger seeking to restrain and entrap. The smaller fights with the speed and raw instinct. The larger moves in the calm methodical manner of experience. Both are grinning.
The exchange continues, the fondue, wine, and other guests all but forgotten. Finally a mistake is made, the smaller tries to overpower the larger. Limbs are entangled, and the smaller finds herself trapped and the air slowly squeezed from her lungs. It's over.

I lay on the floor panting, her head on my chest. I can feel her heart pounding as the adrenaline is washed from her body. One of the other guests peeks around the corner shyly, seeing the trashed bedroom. "Ummm... you two ok?" I smirk "Never better.". Her head raises and she looks at him "Yeah, he kicked my ass, but I never gave in. The bastard knows he was in a fight." "Aye dove, we'll make a fighter of you yet."

The second time

This morning was the second time I had to say goodbye to you.
The second time I had to leave for work and know you would not be there when I got home.
The second time I have had to feel that emptiness where you used to be.
The second time I had to look into your winter blue eyes and pretend to be strong.

Snakes in the grass

Never had much truck with politics. I really don't have the mindset for it. Many of my current problems are stemming from people playing political games. I am paid to do a job, I do it and I do it well. My customer is happy, I make my company lots of money (of which I see very little). It irks me that to cover their own ass, people twist the meaning of my words to imply that I am to blame for things that I have no control over.

If you are unclear on something that I have written or said, ask me to clarify it. Jumping up and down and point you finger while shouting "He said this.", only serves to put me in a bad mood. It also tends to have me talk to the site supervisor who you have just bypassed, and have him go to the program vice president and lodge a formal complaint.

Heros

A buzz tingles my leg, distracting me from the lecture on laser dynamics I am giving. Mentally cursing I pull the small black annoyance out of my pocket, looking at the glowing screen I see "Where have all the heroes gone?". Ten Koreans look at me anxiously as I stare at the little phone dumbfounded.

Not sure where the heroes have gone, we seem to have killed them with lawyers and forced mediocrity. Fear of lawsuits keep many people from helping others when they can. The continued culling of personal responsibility keeps everyone in the "It's not my problem." warm fuzziness. Bit of a sad state we are falling into.

I remember my grandfather, a simple man. He was not what people would call an educated man, nor was he a rich man. He was born in a small town in Georgia, and with the exception of being drafted into WWII, lived there his whole life. You will never see his name in the history books, but he is who I have always thought of as a hero. He was a truly selfless person, he would give you his last possession if you needed it. He would sacrifice everything without thinking of repayment or any type of personal gain. He cared about people, and made time for them because is who he was. He was a good man, not by trying to be one, but just by being one.

To me that is a hero.

Remembering to breathe

Been ignoring my blog of late, not intentional, but with everything going on something had to give. For the last month or so I've been getting hit from all sides at once, and things have been escalating as of late. I'm hoping that things will calm down soon and I can get back to the task of simply being me. I'll be posting as time and mental state allow.

Catching a breath...

Been quite brutal lately, been in limbo waiting to see if I stay or leave Korea. Added to this I have had money woes, lease problems, and most importantly a friend in the hospital. It has been a very long month, but things seem finally be on the mend. Friday I fly to spend a couple weeks with the family, and I get to meet my newest niece. Looking forward to a bit of a break, will be nice to have a chance to catch my breath.

Fair

Fair.... Seems like a simple enough word, not sure that it has meaning in real life. Last night had a friend tell me about her weekend. Seems a good friend to the both of us is in a bad way, and will be going under the knife.

Fair... Is it fair that these things happen? Is it fair that there is pain in they eyes of people I care about? Is it fair that I can do nothing but pray?


I was once told that life is full of sorrows and that every moment of joy is a treasure. Is it fair that this truth no longer comforts me?

Tunnel vision

Two guards, chatting, blissfully unaware that they are being observed. I sight in, the cross hairs finding the first guard. I wait for the shot, my finger resting lightly on the composite trigger. The cross hairs give a small jump with every heartbeat, I change my breathing to steady it out. There it is, a loud report splits the night, as the first guard falls. I quickly sight in the second one before he can recover from the surprise of the first shot, A second shot rings out. As the second guard falls, I see a bright flash and every thing goes black.


YOU HAVE DIED!!!!

Continue? yes/no



Doh, glad I saved. These video games are getting too realistic.

Posers

You've seen them before, people who pretend to be something they aren't so they can fit in. The hard core rapper wanna be who would wet himself if he ever was in the ghetto. The activist that jumps from issue to issue depending on the cause of the week. These people have always rubbed me the wrong way, something about the inherent lack of confidence. I don't see what is so hard about being yourself.