Words that women and men use

My stepmother sent me this. I thought it was pretty funny, but lacking things from the male perspective.

Words that women use

1.) FINE: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right
and you need to shut up.

2.) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five
Minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes
to watch the game before helping around the house.

3.) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and
you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with "“Nothing" usually end in "“Fine"”.

4.) Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

5.) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often
misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and
wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about
nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)

6.) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can
make to a man. "That's okay" means she wants to think long and hard before
deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

7.) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint.
Just say you're welcome.

8.) Whatever: Is a women's way of saying "SCREW YOU!"

9.) Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement,
meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times,
but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking "what's wrong",
for the woman's response, refer to # 3.

Words that men use

1.) FINE: Usually means nice or pleasent. Usually used as a response to "How does this dress look on me?"

2.) FIVE MINUTES: An amount of time equal to 300 seconds, or 5 INA MINUTE's

3.) NOTHING: A state of emptiness, and/or non-movement. Used as a response to "Whatcha doing?" or "Whatch thinking about?". When used means exactly that "Nothing.".

4.) GO AHEAD: a form of permission.

5.) LOUD SIGH: Usually used as a way to avoid cursing, normally used when hung over and confronted with a loud noise or after doing something painful (ie: hitting thumb with hammer).

6.) THAT'S OKAY: Can be used as either an acknologement of an apology ("Sorry I did that."), or a statement of approval("How does this taste?").

7.) THANKS: A statementatment of gratitude.

8.) WHATEVER: Statementatment of not caring one way or the other.

9.) DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT, I GOT IT.: Statement of being able to do the task at hand, and that anyone around should get out of the way.

I hope that listing some of the differences between the male and female lexicons will one day lead to common understanding.