Today I have done the right thing, and feel terrible for it. It involved hurting someone who did not deserve it.
In the Philippines I met a woman, I think that I am the only person in her life that has ever treated her kindly. We parted and have kept in touch. She professed her love for me almost daily. The problem is that I do not love her. I cared for her, and still do, but don't love her. She is looking for someone to sweep in and take her away from the life she is in. As much as I wish I could be, I am not that man. So today I told her that it was over, I am not and can not be the man she is searching for. It would be wrong, and hurt her much more to live a lie.
Today I have hurt someone whose only fault was to care for me, and this feels like my lowest point. Can't help but feel, that I am not the nice guy people keep claiming me to be.
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3 comments:
Nice guys do the right thing even when its not the easy option. Good guys don't let things just drift along when they know its going to be worse in the long run.
Yes she is hurting now, but much better that you pull off the bandaid now then slowly torture her over time, giving her false hope for a future by your silence.
You are a better man than most.
Would it have been better to lead her on so that she was totally dependent on you then let her down? Sometimes we have to do things that seem cruel but they're done in kindness.
I know it was the right thing, but there is not much of a way to not feel like the jerk in the situation. Such is life eh?
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