Self image...

It is strange how we see ourselves. I see myself in the mirror and then see myself in a picture, it is amazing how much the ego distorts what I see. It is also strange when people see something in you that you don't see yourself. Recently I found a friend sees me as a much better person than I perceive myself as, and I find myself not wanting to prove that person wrong. It's not that I see myself as particularly a good or bad person, just never really thought about it. Now I have, ~shrugs~ guess it was bound to happen sooner or later.

Random bouts of introspection, might actually be growing up. There's a scary thought.

A thought.....

Empty your mind of all thoughts.
Let your heart be at peace.
Watch the turmoil of beings,
but contemplate their return.

Each separate being in the universe
returns to the common source.
Returning to the source is serenity.

If you don't realize the source,
you stumble in confusion and sorrow.
When you realize where you come from,
you naturally become tolerant,
disinterested, amused,
kindhearted as a grandmother,
dignified as a king.
Immersed in the wonder of the Tao,
you can deal with whatever life brings you,
and when death comes you are ready. -Tao Te Ching

The week is over...

Well time to bring the work week to a close. Got a dinner for some coworkers, then time to start making Jello shots. I can hear my rum calling, so gonna keep it short. Have a good weekend, hopefully will have some interesting stories and pics to share.

Common Sense

Why is it some people just don't have this trait? For me, if I'm about to do something dangerous and/or stupid a part of my mind kicks in and says "Don't!!". Most of the time I listen, if alcohol or a woman is involved it gets fuzzy. I have met people here that will do things, completely sober with no opposite sex involvement, that would completely blow your mind. In the last 24 hours I have seen:

Numerous people walk blindly into traffic.

People arc welding with no mask, seems that closing their eyes will protect them from hot molten metal.

Folks wanting to work on live electrical equipment, think high discharge capacitors and a direct line to ground. Not a good thing.

A guy talking on his cell phone, typing on a laptop, with a cup of coffee in his lap while driving.

Yes, Darwinism has been proven false.

Clock watching

Tick, tock, tick, tock, watching the seconds pass. It never fails, the morning passes buy in a blur, lunch time comes and things start slowing down. Slower and slower until you are now, the last hour of the day. Feeling like a fly stuck in amber, I watch the clock, waiting for 5:30 to roll around. Random thoughts come unbidden, daydreams that seem to last hours. Drat only seconds have passed. How can the perception of time change so much in the span of eight hours? The weekend is too far away.

one of those days

Today is the type of day it would have been nice to just stay in bed. Nothing bad happening, just felt waayyy too nice under my nice warm blankets. Reality kicked in, gotta go to work, gotta move. Now instead of my nice warm haven, I have the cold glare of a moniter....Reality bites!

The day after, the morning after...

Last night was a bit brutal, we celebrated the birthdays of 3 friends. It started off innocently enough, a nice dinner at a great restaurant (The lamb chops were outstanding). From there it was off to the karaoke where we probably scared the natives. There is something quite scary about a large group of drunk foreigners singing Queen (very badly). Then the increasingly drunk horde headed out dancing. This is where things got very.
Now most people will logically ask "Very what?", but gotta leave it at very. There was drama (one I was expecting, the other six or seven that struck were out of the blue), dancing (actually was taught some of the basics of shaking my groove thing), attempted assisted romance (drunk half-Korean friends trying to set you up with someone who is standing next to their boyfriend is a odd experience), and an incident involving being in a occupied stall of the female restroom with no toilet paper (actually reminded of my Navy days at times). This is the point where the group started to dissipate. Suddenly it's just me, a buddy, and 2 Bonny Scottish lasses (sigh, love that accent) and the club is closing and it's off to an after party. Needless to say 9AM rolls around and I am getting back to the apartment.
13 hours of straight celebrating, ach... I may be getting too old for this stuff (of course I always say that, and I charge straight back into the fray the next time).

The morning after

Why is it that drinking always seems like a good idea? It starts the same way every time "I'll have a few drinks, and keep it mellow." Suddenly it's 5 in the morning and you are seeing a very blurry rendition of the world. A few hours of sleep later it is the morning after. There are two Little dwarfs with hammers in your head. Your mouth tastes like a cat has used it for a litter box (one of these days I'll get that damn cat), and any attempt at being coherent (let alone eloquent) have flown out the window. Guess one of these days common sense will have to kick in.

Random thoughts yet again....

Ever meet anyone you just can't stand, and they don't realize you dislike them?

Watched a Korean basketball game last night. During the game it dawned on me that these guys really can't play.

Mmmmm....Corn Nuts....

I have realized why I could never be a lawyer:
1. I have a soul.
2. I hate bursting into flames when exposed to sunlight.
3. I like garlic.
4. I don't suck "(I leave it up to you to decide what lawyers suck, be creative)"

There are few things better on a cold morning then staying in bed, wrapped up in the nice warm covers.

In, twist, and up!! -from an old marine drill sergeant (best not to try visualizing what it is from, no good can come of it )

As always, I really want an nemesis and/or a sidekick (and a cape).

Doing another Fondue party soon, can't wait.

Fighting

A large part of who I am revolves around fighting. I'm not talking about brawling or fisticuffs (as the more cultured would put it), I'm talking about overcoming a challenge. That's just who I am, show me something where I have any chance of succeeding and I will fight tooth and nail until I accomplish it or die trying (he types rubbing the bruises from snowboarding). Tell me I should quit, and it makes me go that much harder. It is never about winning or losing, it is about the fight. It's about feeling the passion, and fire that comes from the struggle.
Facing a situation now that I honestly think I have no chance of succeding, and for the life of me I don't know how to handle it. It is a matter of the heart so I can fight all I want, but if the other person dosen't feel the same it is useless. Part of me says to walk away, but when I try a glimmer of hope is shown and I go charging right back in (like an idiot). Figgure it is time for a talk, if this fight is hopeless, it is time to move on.

Just wrong

Found this here in Korea, just something seems so wrong about it...

Owwwww.......

Recovering from my first attempt at snowboarding, I have many aches (many in places that I can not discuss in a polite post) at the moment. Coming from a part of the U.S. that doesn't get snow, this is not a natural thing to do. Snow should be soft and fluffy, not painful. I will be going back (yep, I'm an idiot)in about a month for more fun pain.

And the wheel turns...

What goes around comes around, it's funny how often this is true. The wiccan say that what ever you do, good or bad, comes back to you three fold. Then you have the whole karma/dogma aspect. It does a heart good to see these principles in real life, brings a big ol' smile to my face.

Horrible movies

Some movies should just not be made. Last night I was flipping through channels and landed on one of these.
Dracula 3000, yes it is as bad as it sounds. The stars of this little gem were Casper Van Diem (starship troopers), Ericka Eleniak (Under Siege), Coolio (rapper), and Tommy "Tiny" Lister (Friday), yep star studded. This movie actually sucked my will to live so much I was unable to move my thumb to change the channel.

On my alltime worst movie list it ranks a number 2 right behind Dungeons and Dragons the movie.

If movies were crimes these would deserve the death penalty:
1. Dungeons and Dragons the movie
2. Dracula 3000
3. Street Fighter the movie
4. Timecop
5. Syriana
6. Bloodrayne (well, any Uwe Boll movie)

Free will

Ever see something bad coming and not be able to prevent it? It's kinda tough, especially if you see it happening to someone you care about. What interesting beasts we are, gleefully choosing things we know will only lead to sorrow. Guess that is the burden of free will.

The white knight...

"I'm not the perfect little angel you think I am." Her emerald eyes meeting mine. A soft smile crosses my lips "I know darlin, trust me I see exactly what is there. I wish you could." Uncertainty flashes across her face "You always do that, I don't think you see the dark side of me.". I lay my hand on her shoulder "We all have our dark sides, and compared to what I have seen and have been you don't rate." I feel her trying to decide which way to go. I smirk "What do you see when you see me? Time for the brutal truth love, be honest." Her eyes break contact and then meet mine again "I see someone who is wonderful, I have not yet seen a bad side to you. Some of the best times I can think of are with you.". It takes me a moment to recover from this "You know when it comes to you I am a bit stupid? It's like staring down a train, you see it coming and know you should get out of the way, but can't. Your path is yours to choose, as much as I wish I could choose it for you it is not my place. Let me know when you make up your mind." I kiss her on the cheek and walk out....

Decided to try my hand at a little fiction. I think it came off a bit too melodramatic, but I can blame that on too much film noir and goth.

Photos...

Well decided to start a photo blog, only have one post at the moment but will be adding more as time and willingness to do anything permits.

The dawn of a new year...

Well the new year is here, and it was rung in with style at my place (and much drinking). Yesterday was spent recovering, and cleaning (it's amazing how much mess can be generated by drunk people). The party was held for a couple reasons, firstly it's New Year's eve. It was also to say farewell to a couple friends who are leaving Korea (and will be missed), and to say welcome to some who are just arriving (a drunken celebration, always makes the best first impressions :p).

Not really gonna go for the resolutions this year. Instead of saying what I'm going to do and not do it, I'm just going to do it. This seems to be a better way of doing it. I hope that everyone has a great New Year.

Twas a few days after Christmas...

Well Christmas has come and gone, and New Year's is just a few days away. I hope that everyone has had a nice holiday. My own is kinda mixed. I got some really good gingerbread cookies from Hong Kong yesterday :), but was in a auto accident the day before (my post about driving in Korea is quite factual). Saw the new James Bond movie, but found out a close friend had to spend Christmas taking care of her sick mother and got nothing for Christmas :( (everyone needs something for Christmas, so I went a picked her up a little gift).

New Years is looking good, throwing a party at my place. Got the booze, snacks and assorted party needs, even managed to secure some Jell-o (a rarity here) for "Jell-o shots". Champagne is a nogo though, average of 50 bucks a bottle for bottom of the line.

Have a great New Year's all!

Christmas time

Merry Christmas to all!! May you know peace, happiness, and love. To all those deployed during this season (as I have been many times), you are in my prayers and I give my heartfelt thanks for your sacrifices. Merry Christmas all my brothers and sisters, walk in grace and beauty.

And now a classic (thanks to Christmas-poems.com)

How the Grinch Stole Christmas
By Dr. Seuss

Every Who Down in Whoville Liked Christmas a lot...
But the Grinch,Who lived just north of Whoville, Did NOT!
The Grinch hated Christmas! The whole Christmas season!
Now, please don't ask why. No one quite knows the reason.
It could be his head wasn't screwed on just right.
It could be, perhaps, that his shoes were too tight.
But I think that the most likely reason of all,
May have been that his heart was two sizes too small.
Whatever the reason, His heart or his shoes,
He stood there on Christmas Eve, hating the Whos,
Staring down from his cave with a sour, Grinchy frown,
At the warm lighted windows below in their town.
For he knew every Who down in Whoville beneath,
Was busy now, hanging a mistletoe wreath.
"And they're hanging their stockings!" he snarled with a sneer,
"Tomorrow is Christmas! It's practically here!"
Then he growled, with his Grinch fingers nervously drumming,
"I MUST find some way to stop Christmas from coming!"
For Tomorrow, he knew, all the Who girls and boys,
Would wake bright and early. They'd rush for their toys!
And then! Oh, the noise! Oh, the Noise!
Noise! Noise! Noise!
That's one thing he hated! The NOISE!
NOISE! NOISE! NOISE!
Then the Whos, young and old, would sit down to a feast.
And they'd feast! And they'd feast! And they'd FEAST!
FEAST! FEAST! FEAST!
They would feast on Who-pudding, and rare Who-roast beast.
Which was something the Grinch couldn't stand in the least!
And THEN They'd do something He liked least of all!
Every Who down in Whoville, the tall and the small,
Would stand close together, with Christmas bells ringing.
They'd stand hand-in-hand. And the Whos would start singing!
They'd sing! And they'd sing! And they'd SING!
SING! SING! SING!
And the more the Grinch thought of this Who ChristmasSing,
The more the Grinch thought, "I must stop this whole thing!"
"Why, for fifty-three years I've put up with it now!"
"I MUST stop this Christmas from coming! But HOW?"
Then he got an idea! An awful idea!
THE GRINCH GOT A WONDERFUL, AWFUL IDEA!
"I know just what to do!" The Grinch laughed in his throat.
And he made a quick Santy Claus hat and a coat.
And he chuckled, and clucked, "What a great Grinchy trick!"
"With this coat and this hat, I look just like Saint Nick!"
"All I need is a reindeer..." The Grinch looked around.
But, since reindeer are scarce, there was none to be found.
Did that stop the old Grinch? No! The Grinch simply said,
"If I can't find a reindeer, I'll make one instead!"
So he called his dog, Max. Then he took some red thread,
And he tied a big horn on the top of his head.
THEN He loaded some bags And some old empty sacks,
On a ramshackle sleigh And he hitched up old Max.
Then the Grinch said, "Giddap!" And the sleigh started down,
Toward the homes where the Whos Lay asnooze in their town.
All their windows were dark. Quiet snow filled the air.
All the Whos were all dreaming sweet dreams without care.
When he came to the first little house on the square.
"This is stop number one," the old Grinchy Claus hissed,
And he climbed to the roof, empty bags in his fist.
Then he slid down the chimney. A rather tight pinch.
But, if Santa could do it, then so could the Grinch.
He got stuck only once, for a moment or two.
Then he stuck his head out of the fireplace flue.
Where the little Who stockings all hung in a row.
"These stockings," he grinned, "are the first things to go!"
Then he slithered and slunk, with a smile most unpleasant,
Around the whole room, and he took every present!
Pop guns! And bicycles! Roller skates! Drums!
Checkerboards! Tricycles! Popcorn! And plums!
And he stuffed them in bags. Then the Grinch, very nimbly,
Stuffed all the bags, one by one, up the chimney!
Then he slunk to the icebox. He took the Whos' feast!
He took the Who-pudding! He took the roast beast!
He cleaned out that icebox as quick as a flash.
Why, that Grinch even took their last can of Who-hash!
Then he stuffed all the food up the chimney with glee.
"And NOW!" grinned the Grinch, "I will stuff up the tree!"
And the Grinch grabbed the tree, and he started to shove,
When he heard a small sound like the coo of a dove.
He turned around fast, and he saw a small Who!
Little Cindy-Lou Who, who was not more than two.
The Grinch had been caught by this tiny Who daughter,
Who'd got out of bed for a cup of cold water.
She stared at the Grinch and said, "Santy Claus, why,”
"Why are you taking our Christmas tree? WHY?"
But, you know, that old Grinch was so smart and so slick,
He thought up a lie, and he thought it up quick!
"Why, my sweet little tot," the fake Santy Claus lied,
"There's a light on this tree that won't light on one side."
"So I'm taking it home to my workshop, my dear."
"I'll fix it up there. Then I'll bring it back here."
And his fib fooled the child. Then he patted her head,
And he got her a drink and he sent her to bed.
And when CindyLou Who went to bed with her cup,
HE went to the chimney and stuffed the tree up!
Then the last thing he took Was the log for their fire!
Then he went up the chimney, himself, the old liar.
On their walls he left nothing but hooks and some wire.
And the one speck of food That he left in the house,
Was a crumb that was even too small for a mouse.
Then He did the same thing To the other Whos' houses
Leaving crumbs Much too small For the other Whos' mouses!
It was quarter past dawn... All the Whos, still a-bed,
All the Whos, still asnooze When he packed up his sled,
Packed it up with their presents! The ribbons! The wrappings!
The tags! And the tinsel! The trimmings! The trappings!
Three thousand feet up! Up the side of Mt. Crumpit,
He rode with his load to the tiptop to dump it!
"PoohPooh to the Whos!" he was grinchishly humming.
"They're finding out now that no Christmas is coming!"
"They're just waking up! I know just what they'll do!"
"Their mouths will hang open a minute or two,
Then the Whos down in Whoville will all cry BooHoo!"
"That's a noise," grinned the Grinch, "That I simply MUST hear!"
So he paused. And the Grinch put his hand to his ear.
And he did hear a sound rising over the snow.
It started in low. Then it started to grow.
But the sound wasn't sad! Why, this sound sounded merry!
It couldn't be so! But it WAS merry! VERY!
He stared down at Whoville! The Grinch popped his eyes!
Then he shook! What he saw was a shocking surprise!
Every Who down in Whoville, the tall and the small,
Was singing! Without any presents at all!
He HADN'T stopped Christmas from coming! IT CAME!
Somehow or other, it came just the same!
And the Grinch, with his grinch-feet ice-cold in the snow,
Stood puzzling and puzzling: "How could it be so?"
"It came with out ribbons! It came without tags!"
"It came without packages, boxes or bags!"
And he puzzled three hours, till his puzzler was sore.
Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before!
"Maybe Christmas," he thought, "doesn't come from a store."
"Maybe Christmas...perhaps...means a little bit more!"
And what happened then? Well...in Whoville they say,
That the Grinch's small heart Grew three sizes that day!
And the minute his heart didn't feel quite so tight,
He whizzed with his load through the bright morning light,
And he brought back the toys! And the food for the feast!
And he, HE HIMSELF! The Grinch carved the roast beast!


Welcome Christmas
Dr. Seuss and Albert Hague

Fah who foraze!
Dah who doraze!
Welcome Christmas,
come this way!
Fah who foraze!
Dah who doraze!
Welcome Christmas,
Christmas Day!

Welcome, welcome!
Fah who rahmus!
Welcome, welcome!
Dah who dahmus
Christmas Day,
Is in our grasp,
So long as we,
Have hands to clasp!

Fah who foraze!
Dah who doraze!
Welcome Christmas!
Bring your cheer.
Fah who foraze!
Dah who doraze!
Welcome all who's,
Far and near

Fah who foraze!
Dah who doraze!
Welcome, Christmas!
Fah who rahmus!
Welcome, Christmas!
Dah who dahmus
Christmas Day,
Will always be
Just as long,
As we have we
Welcome all who's,
Far and near.